Wherever I go I cause depression.
Worst weekend ever.
I'm sorry I'm a bitch.

Putting on my mask.

I don't feel any better today than I did last night. Sleeping didn't help but I kind of knew that would happen anyway. People have talked to me, and all wished for me to feel better soon. It made me happy knowing someone cares even though when I'm just being a whiny bitch.
At 4 I'm leaving to go to Lanie's house. From there we're going to Jocy's house and going trick or treating. I'm putting on my mask (very fitting for Halloween) and I'm going to act like every thing's ok. If I don't then Lanie will yell at me and tell me I'm just some depressed, mopey, party crasher. So tonight It's going to be all pretend.

Walking around in my banana suit taking candy from strangers. Woo.

This Halloween isn't how I wanted it to be. Not at all.

Still waiting for Nick to get his butt on skype.
This makes almost 2 hours.
Oh well *waits*
I'm going to go take a shower.

Best. Show. Ever.

Ok so I've been like stressing over this for a while now. (OMG WHAT IF I DON'T KNOW MY LINES. WHAT IF I TRIP WHILE RUNNING UP THE STAIRS.) things like that.
Well. I got there tonight, right after school. Ran lines with my understudies, ate my most favorite thing at Wendy's (Spicy Chicken Sandwich) and did a little homework. Then I got dressed into my ever so hot shirt. It's SO hot, I get so sweaty in it! I mean as playing a woman who THINKS she's a man... I'm pretty much dressed like a man. So then my upperstudy gave me this awesome little teddy bear (Me playing Teddy Roosevelt and everything) and then the best part?
I had a mustache.
A painted on mustache.... But a mustache. It. Was. Awesome.
So then I get on stage, I'm shaking like hell. But guess what. I LIKE DIDN'T MESS UP AT LIKE ALL. *dies*
It was sooo perfect! I may of mixed up a little but I just kept going! And I remembered all the important lines anyway.... I WAS SO AWESOME.
And when I wasn't onstage and stuff they had Teddy Grams for me backstage to eat and lemonade and stuff. OMG.
So then after the play was over I went out into the foyer and all my friends gave me flowers and candy and stuff. I WAS SO FUCKING HAPPY. My mustache and all~
And THEN after FINALLY leaving (changing, getting all my stuff ready, talking to people, etc.) Guess what.
WE WENT OUT FOR ICE CREAM.
And I wore to mustache to get ice cream too :3
So now I'm about to go to bed. I have figured out how I shall buy all my favorite things that just came out in the shop for it's anniversary and all, I have this BIG ASS KitKat bar from my friend, and I FINALLY get to sleep... For about 5 hours but oh well....
Best. Play. Ever.
;-; <3333333
This weekend is another long weekend I guess. Since this was just the FIRST performance and even if I'm not acting I STILL have to be there every play...
Night x.x
LOVE YOU ALL.

I want to say fuck my life, but really it's not my life. It's me. So I would say fuck me or fuck myself, but that sounds wrong.
So whatever.
You get the point, I get the point, I'm happy.
Fuck it all.

Yay for rants.

I'm sick of this.
I figured out that when dad turns off his computer (whenever that may be) the wi fi goes away.
That's why sometimes this happens and sometimes it doesn't. It's happening a lot more right now though.
I'm fucking sick of it.
I try so hard on the weekends, my week is getting to be pretty bad now... I'm getting more upset, I'm always in bad moods, and I always have to go to bed so early.
Homework has pretty much taken most of my weekday time away, so I don't really do anything else besides skype on the weekdays.
But then comes the weekend.
I just want to have fun and not give a damn about school. I want to stay up all night doing whatever the hell I want.
No.
I try so hard to find ways, but those are now going away slowly.
I have a lot of ways to get on the internet and skype.. Here's what I've done.

1. My computer in my room.
I did that for a long time. Then mom and dad found out, well the made it so my computer turns off automatically at 11 every single fucking night no matter what.

2. The family's netbook.
I used that for a while when I was sleeping down in the basement. Again, dad found out. Made it turn automatically off at 11 every night.

3. My tablet for school.
I was happy, I realized dad can't make this turn of at 11 automatically since it's pretty much school property. No. Instead the wi fi turns off every time dad turns the computer off downstairs. Sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't. But now he's doing it more frequently, even though he doesn't know.

4. My computer in my room. (what i'm doing now)
Ok I know that's weird, but it's a long story. My computer is stupid and annoying. It runs "Ubuntu". I FUCKING HATE UBUNTU. NOBODY LIKES IT.
But when I finally got the Sim's 3, it doesn't run on useless ubuntu, so dad did this weird thing where when the computer first turns on I switch something and Windows comes up... It's not really Windows though... I can't download skype on it or anything... idk.
So the internet works, but no skype, which is what I want.

So whatever. Yeah I'm being selfish and whiny. But I'm sorry. I don't watch tv, I don't really play video games, I don't even really read that much manga anymore! Just here....
So whatever. It seriously makes me mad. I cry, I get mad beyond belief, I just go out of control... It's creepy. It makes me feel so much better when I'm here... It's not just the talking to people thing... I can listen to music I don't own here (that's a big issue with dad too), I can blog whatever the hell I want here (like this for example), I can play games, I can read manga, and I can do so many other things to make myself feel better when I get super upset. It just makes me happier. I will keep finding ways. Mom and dad aren't taking this away from me. I refuse.

I know I sound like psycho and everything... But whatever, I really need to get this out.

It also annoys me that Naji is saying how this is like a sign and someone's trying to prove something to me... No. I refuse to believe that. Yes I'm on here a lot. So sorry. It's not gonna change.

Well, I feel better now that that's all out. On a happier note...
LOOK AT THIS BADASS BLOGGER.
Thanks so much Sebby~

And also, I've heard that people can't see my new posts anymore in their feeds ever since I changed the link thing to my blogger.... That makes me upset... Maybe if people tried refollowing me? idk.
I just like to know that people can see this and choose to read it if they want... But I guess what I'm really trying to say is....
I want to be babied
Woo for selfishness.

Since I have windows turned on... I'm going to go play Sims 3 for like the first time in forever!
Bye.

lol.

I scared some people in the halls today.
My eyes are red and sore, I was sweating a lot for some weird reason (probably because I stayed in my hoodie all day), my stomach was upset again throughout the whole day, I haven't taken a shower since Friday... Whatever.

Last night was hell, today was hell.

I really don't want to get kicked out of drama. I swear to god I did the work in tech lit... Yet I make a 70.3 in it. (Anywhere bellow 70 is automatically a fail grade). If I fail another grade i'm gone. And even if I got just 1 F again in a class I would still be gone. You aren't able to preform in the preformance if you were kicked out. I can only cross my fingers now.

I sent him a PM appologizing for being a bitch. He hasen't replyed. Like he ever will. Yeah right.

Ha. Just right now, ignored again. Whatever. See what I care.
I'm just some whiny bitch who wants attention.
I don't know if I'm going to take a shower or not when my homework is done, probably not.

I want a puppy.

I'm just someone who can't do a fucking thing right.
I should just fucking shut up and stop everything.
Bye.