I swear, this has been the worst weekend of my life.
That's probably a lie but I'm telling you it sure feels like it.
So many bad emotions are swirling around inside me. Depression, Sadness, Nervousness, Anger, Angst, Uneasiness, etc.
Everything right now that's happening seems to be bad.
All I want right now is just to rant to someone.
I want to say every word that comes to my mind, I want them to listen to me, to comfort me, right now I just want to talk to someone.
2 days have made me the worse I've ever been.
It seems like everyone is upset right now.
I've been trying to help, I always do.
It seems like it never works. Ever.
That is a lie. I know for a fact that some people have thanked me sometimes for cheering them up... But listening to them talk, blog, etc. It seems like what they told me was fake.
I will admit. The internet has made me depressed.
I will also admit. The internet has made me super happy.
50/50
Sometimes worse than others.
But I want to stay.
I just want to stay.
This blog has started to become my diary almost...
So many things.
So many things are making me so upset.
I don't want my computer to automatically turn off at 11pm SHARP. Thanks dad.
That's what's causing most of the anger, nervousness, and depression now.
Wonderful.
And my friends?
Well my homeschool friends are growing farther away from me.
We hardly ever text anymore.
I am making new friends at school.. But I've only been there a day. And every morning so far my stomach hurts like hell.
As for my friends here?
There are the good times and the bad.
This is a bad time.
I want to see them happy.
I know for a fact that I can't make every person in the world happy.
But I still will try.
I guess it's just the kind of person I am maybe?
I don't know.
I listen to nothing but emo music right now.
I write so many rant blogs and never post them.
My emotions are everywhere.
I want someone to talk to.
To listen to me.
To comfort me.
But right now everyone here has their own problems that they need to deal with.
I admit. I'm afraid to talk to anyone anymore in fear I will put them in a bad mood.
I'm just scared.
Scared of everything.
I'm scared to ask Nick to read to me.
I'm scared to ask Sebby to talk to me.
I'm scared to talk to Cessy.
I'm scared of school, internet, the future...
Everything.
I hate this.
I hate it so much.
I'm sure it will all get better soon...
Hopefully.
All I can do anymore is hope.
I guess I just need to be patient.
And I'm one of the most impatient people in the world.
Great.
I thought this blog would help...
But those feelings are still there.
I don't want someone to read this and feel worse about themselves.
But I'm posting it anyway.
I'm such a worry wart.
Dammit.
